And then I saw this video, and fell utterly convicted.  I’m now mindful that these February days are full of promise. Oh, yes, full of the promise that ordinary, dreary grey February days can, in fact, be full of beauty. May your month be blessed with an abundance of Ordinary Days.

I’ve been thinking about what my word for 2010 would be for a few weeks now.  I had settled on “Balance” since I really need to find some amidst the many things pulling for my attention.  But then, I was catching up on blog reading today and came across a post at MckMama that has changed my mind. In it, she writes about “who you are when no one is looking” and so much of the post resonated with me.  But there’s one line, in which she writes about bringing two elements of her life into “better harmony” and my heart literally skipped a beat at reading the word “harmony”  It sounds so cheesy, but I instantly knew that it had to be my word.  So, 2010 will be the Year of Harmony for me.  The definition I’m going with is:

A pleasing combination of elements in a whole

Here’s to a harmonious 2010!

It’s too hard to resist the big piles of crunchy leaves along the path we take to school.  The Talker couldn’t stop himself from leaping into just about every one we passed, this big goofy grin on his face every time.  I’m savoring these afternoons when we can walk to school, the crisp air a refreshing break to our day.  The memories of thes walks will (hopefully) sustain me through the dreary winter days ahead.

This week has been a pretty stressful one here at our house. The mammogram and ultrasound on Tuesday revealed more questions than answers, and we’re still just…waiting. Yesterday, even though it was a rainy day, we decided that the entire family needed a mental health day! We went to see Where to see Where the Wild Things Are. Visually, it was a stunning movie. The Wild Things were really fabulous, the cinematography was excellent, and the location choices were spot-on. The storyline though…let’s just say this was not the best movie to see when you were already feeling a bit emotionally fragile. It was not a kids’ movie. Very heavy thematically, and I was disappointed because it truly is my very favorite book to read with the boys and I really wanted to love this movie.

After that, we went to lunch and then to the orchard to pick apples and pumpkins. By the time we arrived at the fields, the sun had come out (even though rain had been forecasted for all day) and we enjoyed having the fields all to ourselves! We picked a bushel of empire and golden delicious apples (hello, apple pie filling!) and then we each picked a pumpkin. We schlepped all our goodies home, and The Hubster cleaned all the pumpkins out to roast the seeds while the boys + I got to carving. I think our efforts paid off pretty well, dontcha agree?

I’m sharing these pictures at You Capture this week, because for once I finally have pics that fit the theme, LOL!  Be sure to go check out all the other lovely pictures!

Outside my window…the sun is shining on the fallen leaves in the backyard, awaiting the raking-and-jumping festival that will commence on Saturday morning.

I am thinking…about the tests I have scheduled for next week.

I am thankful for…God’s presence with me as I think about those tests.

From the kitchen…cider-glazed pot roast with veggies cooking in my beloved cast iron, making the whole house smell divine.

I am wearing…black yoga pants and a comfy grey Old Navy tee, pulled on as I contemplated a workout while Rusty naps.

I am creating…a layette set that I’m knitting for a good friend’s baby shower next weekend. She’s a huge Penn State fan, so it’ll be Nittany-approved!

I am going…to watch the Phillies tonight (and they will clinch!)

I am reading…actually reading? Good and Angry. Audible reading? The Monuments Men. (It’s fantastic!)

I am hoping…that all this worry will be for nothing.

I am hearing…blissful silence (for the first time in 4 days!)

Around the house…there is a large pile of laundry waiting to be folded on my bed.

One of my favorite things…is that Dash* loved to do crafts as much as I do. He was home the past two days due to an asthma flare, and we spent several lovely hours making loop potholders, painting, and knitting together.

A few plans for the rest of the week…playground tomorrow, Family Movie Night on Friday, and leaf fun on Saturday!

A picture to share…

Me and the Craftster

* Dash isn’t his real name. The boys have all recently expressed discomfort with me using their real names (though they are fine with pictures, so weird!) So, I’ve taken to using nicknames that represent them. This guy is “Dash” because he’s an incredible athlete who runs like the wind, and is also quite quick with the flip comments when needed. He could also easily be called the Craftster since he’s oh-so-crafty (in more ways than one!)

Can you tell who that is sweeping up the bits of cereal from my floor?  It’s Batman and Bob the Tomato!  This sight took my breath away in it’s sweetness.  My little men, dressed up like their adored Heros, doing a simple task for their Mama.  My jaw unclenched, and my heart swelled.  It’s going to be a good day…

If this is the worst thing that happens today, it’s still a pretty good day.

And then, my youngest started screaming and the toilet almost overflowed and the oldest couldn’t find a pencil and…well, you know how it goes.

Fast forward to yesterday.  It was one of those days.  I began the day by posting this as my status on Facebook:

If you see my mojo run by, can you please tell it to come home? I really miss it!

I had a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, to check on a lump I felt in my right breast.  I’m reallygood about doing self-exams (side note: I hope you all are feelingyourselves up regularly!!) and found a lump. I thought I was crazy atfirst, but after several days of feeling it, I called the doc (thinking the entire time that I was going to feel like an idiot when he told me I was crazy and there was nothing there to be alarmed about)

Well, that’s not what he told me. He instead is sending me for a mammogram and consult with a surgeon (for a biopsy).  Do you know what the first thought I had was after he said that? That’s right…

If this is the worst thing that happens to me today, it’s still a pretty good day.

So, here’s what we know about this lump: it’s not a hard mass. It’s got the consistency of a cooked kernel of corn on the cob – this is apparently a good thing, because hard masses are more likely to be malignant. It is not moveable, which is not such a good thing. It feels like it’s “anchored” to something (meaning, it can’t be manipulated when you touch it – it stays in place and moves with the surrounding tissue) IF it is malignant (which, at this point, is a big if – we really don’t know because it’s not a typical presentation) then it’s highly likely that we’ve caught it very early, because I did not feel any lump at all last month during the last self-exam. (This, again, is good – early detection is highly indicative of an excellent outcome)   On the down side, the dr is concerned about the size of the lump (it feels to be the size of a plump raisin) and the fact that it’s gotten this big quickly (ie: in the last 4 weeks) He wants me to do the tests after my next period (TMI?) so that means we can’t do it for 2 weeks. (Translation: that’s 2 weeks of practice telling myself that it’s still a pretty good day!)

I’m convinced that God put Lysa’s message on my heart just at the time I was going to need it. I am Praising God in the midst of my worry, of my fear, and of the unknown.  God is so good, and I know He is with me as I walk this path.  And it’s a pretty good day.

Courage [kur-ij]noun: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

I’m not sure about y’all, but most of the time I’m pretty certain that the quality of my mind (and spirit) is pretty darned discouraging!  I go through days weeks feeling inadequate as a mother, as a friend, as a wife, as a daughter, and certainly as a Christian woman.  It’s a wonder with all of today’s pressures that any of us can manage to even get out of bed in the morning.  But get up and face the day we do.

My courage comes from the abundant blessings that my Almighty Father has showered on me.  These blessing are too many to possibly list, but here’s a small sampling of those that are forefront in my mind today:

• the feel of a small hand clasping mine as we walk down the street
• the warmth of the Hubster’s hug at the end of a long day
• the innocence of a boy’s prayers before bedtime
• the faith of a friend facing the battle of her life
• the trust of another friend facing a new chapter in her journey
• the memory of a brilliant sunset over the foothills of NC
• the pilgrimage of a {church} family to help strangers build their homes
• the love of a Father who knows my faults
• the Words of my Saviour who rescues me fromdespair

How do you find courage when you’re feeling inadequate?

So, have y’all seen the excitement that is {in}courage? It doesn’t go live officially until Monday, but just reading the list of fabulous women who are behind the scenes, it’s obvious that this place will be a blessing to oh-so-many women.